A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you - you’ve broken your finger!"

• What did the hat rack say to the hat? You go on a head and I'll stand here.
• What do you do if your fish sounds bad? Tune a fish!
• Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak...
• How does bread greet each other? "Gluten tag!"
• Whats the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
• What do you call a hippie's wife? Mississippi!
• Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind, its too cheesy :D