Jokes

A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.

He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?

In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims:

- Damn, some asshole has my pen!


The Final Exam

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the
UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new
students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two
hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very
strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in
exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the
professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as
he handed the student a booklet. " Yes I will," replied the student. He
then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students
filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued
writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was
sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put
his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student
looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?" "No, as a matter
of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his
voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don't care,"
replied the professor with an air of superiority. "Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.